Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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