My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
