dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
