he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
