I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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