Plan B is the new Plan A
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
