She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
