yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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