i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize