pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
