You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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