i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
