This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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