So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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