Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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