chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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