Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
