This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
