I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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