butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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