you would pick up someone in the library
He uses pillows to masturbate.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
