Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
