I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
