don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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