I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
