A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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