What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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