what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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