Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
