We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
