i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
