i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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