Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
