Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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