I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize