As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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