plz talk dirty to me
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize