Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
