He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
