I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
