i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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