Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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