We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
