im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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