you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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