cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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