you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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