I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
