Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
