Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
