so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
