So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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