Its about making memories worth repressing
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
