super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
