So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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