Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I woke up under a house in Key West
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
