And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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