nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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