I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
