Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
