Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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