these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
