im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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