After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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